Don't get me wrong, I see the benefits of them being due. It forces me to stay on top of my work and having final grades posted on time won't be a problem, but when I take a break from my Saturday grading--yes, I grade Saturday and plan Sunday--and look at my "friends" on Facebook, I can't help but be jealous.I see girls dolled up and going out with their significant other. Last weekend my boyfriend and I went for dinner and were home and asleep by 10. I was exhausted. Last night I stayed at school until six trying to complete "busy" tasks that I can't seem to finish on the regular school day, like organizing my classroom library. Yes, if I let it go the students probably wouldn't care, but I do. I believe in demonstrating organization so that they see the importance of being organized and prepared. After leaving school, I drove over an hour to get to my boyfriend's place only to find that the weekend had started for them and wanted to go out after supper.
I was exhausted. Sitting around the house wasn't fun because I wanted to be in bed sleeping. But I also wanted to be up and spend quality time with my boyfriend and his friends. Sadly, this stressed me out. I was on the verge of tears from exhaustion and desire to not be tired. Thankfully, caffeine (which I NEVER drank before my-big-girl job) kicks in and I was able to have a good night.
But today I find myself sitting at his kitchen table grading 7th and 8th grade paragraphs, essay outlines, bellwork, and creative writing. He was doing engineering homework so we were at least together. Now he's gone to scout for ducks and I continue to grade (and write this blog).
Maybe it's the school district, maybe it's administration expectations. Maybe it's teaching personality and personal expectations. Perhaps the next four weeks I'll learn the secret. For now, I did receive good news that my hard work is paying off. Even though my students complain that I make them write too much ("This class should be called writing." Uh hmm...English is writing.), my principal tells me that they report positively on my class. My first formal observation and evaluation meeting have taken place and I'm on the right track. Yay! (I was jumping up and down in my head when my principal shared his evaluation.) It'll all come together one day at a time.
I took a break to find my friends on Facebook. I see my other teaching friends are at Octoberfest festivities, apple orchards, and pumpkin patches. They look put together (as I sit here in my sweat pants and baggy sweatshirt) and wonder, "What am I doing wrong?" Or is the question, "What am I doing differently?" Perhaps, "What's the secret?"
